Surrogates recall the first time they met their potential IPs and how the story unfolded from there.
There are always moments in life that define us. They mold and create us into the people we become. Deciding to be a surrogate is never taken lightly. Couples trust another woman to carry their baby and bring that tiny being into the world. Ever wonder what they did and felt the first time they met?
Kristal Brown is a surrogate from California who had no struggles conceiving children and couldn’t imagine living through the nightmare of infertility. She wanted to be a surrogate so she could help one couple become parents where they wouldn’t otherwise have that chance. “It’s like carrying someone else’s dream,” Kristal said. She has just begun her journey with a couple from Shanghi, China and hopes to transfer in early November.
The first time she met her IF the entire family went. Her IM couldn’t be there, as her visa wasn’t approved yet. They went to a beautiful restaurant in La Jolla, California. Her IF loved Kristal’s boys and everyone got along wonderfully. Being from another country, her IF enjoyed trying lots of new foods. After meeting him, Kristal knew she was going forward with helping them. Their struggles of infertility for ten years out-weighed her fears of the injections. She is looking forward to the day she can give birth to their baby.
Emily Howard Instenes, mom of three kids, lives in Wisconsin and has been a surrogate twice. She felt it was a ‘calling’ and it gave her a new appreciation for those who are unable to start a family without the help of others.
The first time Emily was a surrogate she had wild ride to get to her IP’s. Her support person and her had a layover in one city before they were able to reach New York, but their flight ended up being canceled. They were headed to the medical evaluation and her appointment was the next day in the afternoon. They scrambled to get the earliest flight in the morning so that she wouldn’t miss her appointment. They landed just in time for one of her IP’s to pick her up and race to the clinic in Connecticut. They made it with 15 minutes to spare. Emily was hot and in clothes from the day before and was exhausted. After her evaluation was done, her IF took them back to the airport and they left two hours after that. It wasn’t much of a visit, but her IF felt so bad that he upgraded them to first class. “It was a crazy and fast meeting, but I was blessed to have carried their son for 40 weeks,” said Emily. She went on to have a baby boy for them in 2010.
Emily’s second IP’s were in California. They never met until two days before the transfer, but she had an excellent time getting to know them and shared many laughs together. The transfer went beautifully and they were blessed with a baby girl in spring 1013 and a baby boy the summer after that in 2014.
Cara MacLean, a mom of two kids, watched her aunt struggle with infertility. She was too young at the time to help, but always kept it in the back of her mind. She knew one day when she was done having her own kids that she would help someone else.
Currently Cara is matched for the third time. She just met her IPs and had a great story to share about the roadtrip from her hometown Wareham, Massachusetts to Virgina where her IPs had a cabin. Cara’s whole family spent three days getting to know the couple she hopes to have a baby for. “I felt comfortable from the first hug,” said Cara. They sat around watching football and eating pizza and wings and got to know each other better. Cara and her Intended Mother got temporary tattoos on the back of their hands, showing their solidarity; they said ‘Surrogacy Together’.
On the second day they went to the local pumpkin patch where the kids enjoyed a hayride, live country music, pumpkin picking, yummy treats, and farm animals galore. They finished up the day with dinner at an Italian restaurant.
The last day there, the two couples made the two-hour drive to Maryland to the fertility clinic, where Cara spoke with a social worker. They felt confident about getting their journey started. The trip ended on a high note, with a fun football game at the local high school. Cara’s family felt welcomed the whole time, and are now ready to move on to the next step of their journey.